Where I have been for two years.

Well here I am two years from posting on my blog. Why you ask? Because life happens.
I know it happens to everyone, but I just let it get all up in my joy. My bad.
Lets see if I can write a Readers Digest version.
Three family members have passed. Two uncles and an aunt. I know that sounds like a great title for a movie or a book. Two uncles and an aunt. LOL. None from cancer, one uncle from diabetes, the other from old age. The aunt from diabetes complications also. All three lived long and happy lives, so even though it is sad they are all in a better place. One uncle died in November of 2012 right after Thanksgiving and the other two died this past summer two weeks apart. So summer 2014 was the summer of funerals and such. The two that passed this summer were brother and sister, so I have two aunts left from my mothers side and then that entire generation will be gone. That is pretty sad.
Also earlier this year my daughter in law passed away, she had brain cancer and had been diagnosed in November of 2013. She passed quietly on February 17th  in her home with my son by her side two days after they had renewed their wedding vows.
I am working through all of that still while also working on my own journey. As I sit here my mind goes blank, but when I am alone in the dark at night my mind swims with things I want to share.
My job sucks now-we got a new principal who had the nerve to tell me after her being there nine months and me being there six years "I just don't think you are a good fit for this school." WHAT! This was at the end of last year, so of course I asked her if I had a job for this year. She said well of course you do.
So I go to work every day and just do what I need to do. The joy has gone out of my job. Yes, I love my students, but I hate (and I don't use that word often) being there. I don't even know if that makes any sense. I spent months crying everyday on the way to work, but have finally decided she is not worth it.
People say, well just find a new job. REALLY, you think it is that easy. Have you seen the job market, did I forget to mention I barely have enough energy to get through this job. The stress has taken all the extra energy I have, so I now have to muster up and work through before I do anything.
Also, my diabetes meds stopped working so I had to get those changed. Found out I was allergic to one and I puffed up like a balloon. I had to find a new endocrinologist and he (so far) is really good. Put me on a new med that seems to be working better, although it has only been two weeks, so we will see. Also did massive amounts of blood work and found out I have no estrogen in my body and my vitamin D is at 15. Both these could be a reason I feel like crap most of the time. So we will now have to work on them. I hope so, because I am just tired of being tired. I mean the really really tired, where you just want to sit and do nothing at all.
So I ramble, so many things. My oncologist has left the clinic I go to so now I have to adjust again to a new oncologist. I want to find a new place to go where I am not a number and am treated like a person. The clinic called to make my next appointment and told me they will only be taking appointments Monday thru Thursday 8 to noon. REALLY.  They happen to catch me on a supper bad day, and after a couple of failed attempts to schedule an appointment on one of my days off from work I told the person on the phone "I am so sorry my cancer is inconvenient and does not work around your small caring window." Then I hung up. So I don't have an appointment, but oh well. 
I am beginning to think this is a little larger than Reader Digest, but it is what it is.
I need to start writing here more because it does make me feel better. My own little place to vent and just let my hair down. As far as my CML you ask, well it is doing well still on 50mg of Sprycel a day. Now lets see what happens when my prescription runs out and I still have not found a new oncologist. LOL. I know I need to find one, but I am being a rebel right now and not looking for a while. I know that is not the right step, but it is mine and gives me a tiny bit of control.
Keeping my glass half full as always. Till next time keep smiling, I am. :)